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  • Frankly, My Dear

    by
    David Cunningham
    4 Comments Comments
    Quote Originally Posted by GunsAndRoses View Post
    Ladies, I need your help. I love watching movies, romantic comedies especially, but am SICK of seeing tired, old, get-down-on-one-knee marriage proposals. Now that my eyes are open to what makes a man a man, something about him kneeling down in a subservient position and "asking permission" to marry the girl just doesn't sit right with me anymore. And when I've spent 90 minutes being amped up with Hollywood-style anticipation, only to be disappointed by the wussy cinematic climax, it just ruins the whole thing. (Kind of a metaphor for a lot of things, isn't it. LOL)

    The proposal scene from "The Proposal" with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock is the closest I've seen recently to being a manly proposal. But those seem few and far between...

    So, I'd like to start sort of a mental collection of rom-coms that include manly men. Any suggestions? They don't have to include a marriage proposal exactly - something like Don Juan DeMarco with Johnny Depp, or The Ugly Truth with Gerard Butler, are good examples too.

    Looking forward to hearing from everyone! :-)

    Lucy
    a.k.a. GunsAndRoses
    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa Z View Post
    Dear GandR,

    I personally would prefer the gentleman I'm dating to be on the same level as me when proposing. I don't feel he needs to get on his knees but sitting at my side, holding my hand and looking into my eyes when he ask's.
    I want to feel my man is a man and will be at my side no matter what. So, what better way to start the journey of our life together but us being on the same level?
    Lisa Z
    Texas
    I'm not supposed to post in The Ladies' Room forum, but I have to say something about this comment, so I snatched it to blog it.

    You two are echoing what I've heard from a LOT of women. I'm rather hoping that the proposal scene in "The Proposal" is indicative of a new Hollywood paradigm, because my reaction to seeing a man whip out a ring and drop to one knee, basically saying, "I'm not worthy, so I'm going to beg and try to buy you with a piece of jewelry," causes me to cringe at best and feel a twinge of anger at worst. Think about it...

    If a man hasn't done his homework, verified compatibility and love, and paid close enough attention to the woman he loves to know whether or not she'll marry him and have the confidence to declare that he's ready to share a lifelong commitment by saying something like, "I love you and I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you. Are you ready to marry me?" and know what the answer is going to be, there is no amount of begging that is going to change her answer, and quite frankly I wish women would start publicallly talking about not wanting to be bought so that men would realize just how it comes across to any woman of character when he shows a ring before she answers. I also wish men would realize (and I've been trying to make them realize for several years now) that if a woman can be swayed to marriage by a ring, she is the last woman on Earth he should be marrying, because she's after his money, not sharing his life.
    This article was originally published in blog: Frankly, My Dear started by David Cunningham
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    Comments 4 Comments
    1. DeeP's Avatar
      DeeP - November 8th, 2011, 06:49 PM
      How about the man who just looks at his woman and tells her, "Lets go get married today," brushing away her slight resistance on going anyway? If a couple have been together for a year or two isn't it time to make it official?
    1. David Cunningham's Avatar
      David Cunningham - November 8th, 2011, 09:08 PM
      It may not be time to make it official; that depends on the couple. But if the man knows that it is indeed time to make it official because of the evidence he sees, regardless of how long it has been, "Let's get married," is definitely a better approach than begging. I've used it myself, and I can tell you it works. ;-)
    1. David Cunningham's Avatar
      David Cunningham - November 8th, 2011, 09:11 PM
      I see I didn't address an important aspect of Dee's question, the issue of "today." That depends on the woman, whether she's been married before, whether she likes impromptu adventures, whether she really wants family there with her when she gets married, etc., but again, if a man knows a woman well enough to know that it's time to marry, he should know her well enough to know those things, too.
    1. DeeP's Avatar
      DeeP - November 10th, 2011, 12:17 AM
      I agree. It all boils down to how well a man knows his woman. I have found there are types of women who are very subtle in their communication and desire their man very much, but, as a result of life experiences, are reluctant to "push' their love to do something that would make said woman very happy and desire a man to do as I have stated. In talking to women over the years since I have read your book it seems deep down most women have this submissive nature. As Dave, your copywriter friend said in a recent blog post, "Fantasy is who we really are with society's program removed," (paraphrased). This belief comes not so much from what they say as how they said it.